


Just a Boy?

by Anonymous



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Boyflux, Boyflux Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Demiboy Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Gender Confusion, Gender Issues, Genderfluid Deceit Sanders, Happy Ending, I don't have as happy or conclusive as an ending as Remus, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, genderflux, im definitely not projecting onto Remus in the middle of a gender crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:28:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24086608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: This is just me projecting my gender crisis on Remus.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44
Collections: Anonymous





	Just a Boy?

Remus was a boy. 

He'd a boy since he left his mother's womb with a dick. 

But was he _just_ a boy. 

That chilling thought hit him in the middle of the night while he was reading Batfam fanfiction.

_Hey, are you just a guy?_

That stopped him right in his tracks. 

_Am I?_

Remus has two good friends and Jan is Genderfluid while Virge is testing demiboy. 

Remus is thinking far too hard about other people and their decisions which never ends well, so he scrambles over to his laptop and after clicking out of a few questionable websites, starts his research. 

He starts with Demiboy.

**A demiguy (also called a demiboy, demiman or demimale person) is a gender identity describing someone who partially, but not wholly, identifies as a man, boy or otherwise masculine, regardless of their assigned gender at birth. They may or may not identify as another gender in addition to feeling partially a boy or man.**

**Demiguy can be used to describe someone assigned male at birth who feels barely connected or disconnected to that identification, but who usually does not experience a significant enough dissociation to create real physical discomfort or dysphoria. Demiguy can also describe someone assigned female at birth who is transmasculine but not wholly binary-identified, so that they feel more strongly associated with "male" than "female," socially or physically, but not strongly enough to want to identify as as a man.**

**Demiguys may also identify as demigender, non-binary and/or transgender.**

Remus doesn't think this fits him quite right. 

He had researched dysphoria for Jan and Vee and he knows he doesn't fell body dysphoria but the more he thinks about social and mind dysphoria, He feels a connection. 

Sometimes, Remus doesn't like being called a dude in public and sometimes it was the best thing. And he doesn't always think of himself as a dude, more so just a person, just existing, not really tied to anything. 

In the comments, he finds a little gem that takes him new places. 

**Before I learned what Bigender was, I thought I was a demiboy. But now I found myself a much more comfortable term.**

Remus immediately looks up Bigender. 

**Bigender is a gender identity which can be literally translated as 'two genders' or 'double gender'. Bigender people experience exactly two gender identities, either simultaneously or varying between the two. These two gender identities could be male and female, but could also include non-binary identities. For other identities for those who experience multiple genders, please see multigender.  
Bigender people may also identify as multigender, non-binary and/or transgender. If a bigender person feels that their identity changes over time or depending on circumstance, they may also identify as genderfluid, which describes any person whose gender identity varies over time.**

**Bigender people can have any gender expression but many prefer to be seen as androgynous and/or change their presentation to be more masculine or feminine depending on their current identity. Bigender people may experience dysphoria in which they want their body to reflect traits from two distinct sexes, or experience dysphoria at some times but not others. However, not all bigender people experience dysphoria. Some bigender people may choose to transition so that their body more closely matches their gender identity, but not all do.**

Remus smiles a little bit. 

This sounds much closer to what he means. 

Sometimes a guy, sometimes not, sometimes both. 

It fits him almost perfectly. 

It just doesn't particularly _vibe_ with him right. 

Bigender. 

_Bigender._

It sounds right and wrong. Like he's almost there but not quite. 

He's not Genderfluid but he's not always as stocky as boy, not boy, and not/boy.

Maybe he should check Genderfluid, just to be sure. 

**Genderfluid is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time. A genderfluid person's identity will change constantly, so it's always best to ask what they are in that moment. For instance; You wake up a girl, then you suddenly feel like a boy. Except, it changes between ALL the gender identities. This may change dramatically, and rapidly, depends on the person. A common way of gender change is in response to different circumstances. Gender fluid people may also identify as multigender, non-binary and/or transgender. Genderfluid people may feel more comfortable using gender neutral pronouns and have a androgynous gender expression.  
Gender fluid people who feel that the strength of their gender(s) change(s) over time, or that they are sometimes agender, demigender, and a full gender may identify as genderflux.**

Remus was right. 

He is not Genderfluid. 

That just sounds like too much for him. 

And he knows he's not female or feminine out side of the occasional dress he wore for fun. 

But what is genderflux? 

**Genderflux is an umbrella term for gender identities in which the gender or one’s perception of the gender’s intensity varies over time. It can be seen as a form of genderfluid on a spectrum from agender to one or more other gender identities. Genderflux people may also identify as nonbinary, genderqueer and/or transgender.  
Genderflux people tend to fluctuate on the spectrum of one gender where the intensity is from 0% that gender, which would be agender, to 50%, or demigender, to 100% which would be the full or whole of that gender, or anything in between such as libragenderand paragender. For example, a boyflux individual can fluctuate from agender, to libramasculine, to demiboy, to paraboy, to male, or never experience some of the genders listed / a unique gender that is not / can not be labelled yet. **

This. 

_This_ is what Remus had been looking for. 

Genderflux. 

Varying degrees of dude to not dude. 

One line. 

Simpler but not to simple. 

He loves it. 

It feels very right. 

Boyflux is the masculine type, right? 

**Boyflux is a gender identity in which a person can feel mostly or completely male most of the time but experiences varying degrees of male identity. For example, one could feel 0% (agender), 50% (demiboy), 100% (male), or anything in between like paraboy or libramasculine. The intensity can fluctuate over any period of time.  
Boyflux is a type of genderfluidity and a subset of genderflux. Genderflux is a term used to describe any gender‘s intensity fluctuating. Boyflux is a specific gender off of genderflux, but it can be any binary or nonbinarygender. (i.e agenderflux, girlflux, bigenderflux)**

**Some boyflux people, like other fluid or flux genders, may go by different names depending on how they currently identify. Most people only do two or three, but there may be more depending on circumstance.**

Remus can't help himself and starts crying with happiness.

It was so _right_ to what he feels. 

It's a new understanding he has for himself. 

The only thing left to think about is what he wants to call himself when he feels like nothing. 

When Jan had come out, he couldn't help but research everything about Genderfluid, dysphoria, and pronouns. Remus was now completely used to switching pronouns for others but did he want different ones for when he fell low into the nothingness part of his chart? 

_Yes_. 

He didn't eve have to actively think to know that he needed something to differentiate himself from being himself and being not _him_ self. 

He thinks about all the non-binary constrained pronouns he had suggested to Jan to make them be more comfortable and lands on one. 

Ae/aer 

Though there are they, e, ze, xe, and fae pronouns to choose from off the top of his head, none of them felt right. 

But ae? 

It felt _perfect_. 

It wasn't very popular anymore or as commonly used as it used to be but he, _ae_ feels a sense of right with it. 

Remus finally finishes aer research with a small smile. 

Ae stands and everything cracks. Ae gets up and flops on aer bed. 

Ae has only been identifying with boyflux for an hour but it was the happiest hour of aer life. 

Ae had figured that most of the time ae would be fine with either ae or he unless ae was feeling particularly masculinely or nothingly. Ae knows where they are on aer scale and that is enough for aer. 

Everything the way it is right now is _perfect_ for aer.

**Author's Note:**

> From your very unstable, questioning and testing, genderflux. (Specifically girlflux) I honestly am very unsure of this and am just testing my waters cause I'm scared so don't count on this last very long in my panic where I can't tell.  
> (Aka I might be Bigender and I might be Girlflux but I honestly have no idea and its 1am so who knows where I'll end up)


End file.
